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My question to you is: "How do you take yourself away from the adrenalin rush of your busy daily life and create a reflective mindset, without packing your bags?" Here are some random thoughts to stimulate your creativity: Treat yourself to a mental health day. If you work, take a sick day and if you're home, devote the day to yourself. Make fewer choices, have fewer contacts, exchange fewer words. What happens? With what do you fill the empty space? Write down your thoughts and feelings. Refer back to these reflections at times when you need to capture some internal quiet. Sometimes you may feel uncertain or ambivalent about a situation. However it is mentally and physically impossible to have incompatible feelings at the same time. Try it. Be anxious and relaxed, angry and happy. Then either imagine or actually take yourself for a walk in a calm environment in the meadow, among the pines, along the beach. Practice this and snap an internal photograph to keep in the back of your mind's eye. When you feel stressed, bring this picture to your awareness and begin to melt away your pressured thoughts. Tailor-make your own peace of mind by identifying, developing, committing to memory and repeating a self- soothing idea that works for you: sounds that are relaxing, a verbal mantra that resonates, a mental picture that creates serenity. Wrap yourself in a blanket of comfort. What are the ways you gain control over your bad mood when it threatens to get the best of you? By giving in to it, blaming others, denying it, letting it wash over you, or changing how you think about it? And does how you handle the situation make a difference? The only way to find out is to conduct an experiment. Next time notice your process and write about it. What preceded the mood, what were your thoughts, and how were you feeling. Consciously try to change the way you react. Pay attention to differences in the intensity, frequency and duration of your feelings. You have choices and control over the outcome. Now you're in the driver's seat. Have you ever canoed with a partner? Try it, especially when the wind is against you, the tide has turned and you're dealing with a motorboat's wake. Then pay attention to issues of trust, control, communication and cooperation. Do you feel worried, safe, compromised, heard, understood? Generalize this situation to other parts of your life. Write about it and learn more about yourself. How do you deal with feelings of frustration, anger, annoyance, disappointment or sadness? Allow yourself the space to actually think the thoughts that cause these feelings. Are they about falling short, unmet obligations, the opinion of others? Can you minimize the negative noise of your own self-doubt and the expectation of others? Then begin to shift toward a level of acceptance, first of yourself and then of those you keep trying to please. Change is inevitable and transition is a process. It takes time and will eventually unfold. You can be passive and let it run its course. Or you can assume a more active stand and make it happen. Change can occur as a result of some external force, your own experiences, listening to the advice of others, your internal mental state, how you interpret the situation. Figuring out the essence of it will contribute to the depth and understanding of the process. Imagine the power of a wild fire that destroyed 70% of a forest. Then notice how that disaster has eliminated the canopy of green branches and cleared the way for the sunlight. That clearing creates a natural reseeding and the elements to nurture the growth of the seedlings. And the development of a new forest begins. How do you create a fertile environment for your own change? So there you have it, a stream of consciousness, sparked by a hike in a national park. The next time you get away to a quiet place - actually or in your mind - write about your thoughts. Tuck them away and retrieve them in a moment of frenzy. You'll be surprised by what you find. |
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DISCLAIMER: The purpose of Her Mentor Center ™ is to provide information, education,
and mentoring services. It does not provide psychotherapy, counseling,
or any other psychological services or treatment. If you feel
the need for psychological help, you should contact your local mental
health professional associations. © Copyright Her Mentor Center 2000-2006. All rights reserved. |
