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Nourishing Relationships

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What the Sandwich Generation Brings to the Holiday Table

Are you wondering if your family dynamics during the holidays 
are going to scare off your son's new in-laws? Welcoming his wife
and her parents into the fold is another chapter in your family's 
history, and integrating them into the holiday festivities 
has the potential for its own complications.

Are you ready to take the family conversation up a notch or two
this year and talk more than holiday decorations? Are you tired 
of preparing Christmas, Hanukah or Kwanzaa dinner and anxious 
to pass the baton to the younger generation?  

Use some of the following tips - those that apply specifically 
to your family situation - in order to create new holiday rituals:


1.  Make a conscious decision to put aside misunderstandings 
and differences so you can enjoy the family time together.  
Arrive at dinner with an open mind, no complaints and an accepting heart.


2.  Before the meal, begin a conversation about gratitude.  
Have your children and your parents talk about what they are 
thankful for and how feeling grateful can become a part of their daily lives.


3.  During dinner, deepen the discussion by encouraging each family
member to identify his or her core values. A core value is about 
being, not about doing.  For example, you may set a goal of being 
a more secure and satisfied person rather than one of having a lot 
of money. Decide to live up to these standards by taking action 
as you create a more congruent way of life.


4.  Pause to recognize the talents, skills and positive character 
traits of others, as well as your own. Serve as a role model for 
your extended family as you openly acknowledge these personal strengths.


5.  If you're ready to be a guest instead of the host, make this 
holiday a rite of passage.  Whether you're edging your kidults out 
of the nest or taking a well deserved respite for yourself, begin 
to shift the responsibility of family get-togethers to the next generation.


6.  Pass on the family legacy. Let your adult children know how
much you value keeping the family close. Teach by example as they 
watch how you lovingly take care of your own aging parents.


7.  Encourage the younger members of the family to preserve 
the old traditions and give them your support while they're 
creating customs of their own. Remember to express your 
appreciation as they develop new family and holiday attitudes.


Whether your emerging adult children decide to create new wave 
recipes or cook the meal in the microwave, it's now out of your
control. Sit back and relax - all you have to do is pass 
the mashed potatoes and gravy.


(c) Her Mentor Center, 2006

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(c) HerMentorCenter, 2006.  All rights reserved.  The above
material may not be copied to another web site without the
express permission of HerMentorCenter.com.   
  
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