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Nourishing Relationships

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Sandwiched Boomers: 7 Tips on Fighting Inertia


On almost a daily basis, as Sandwiched Boomers, you are bombarded by 
a variety of tasks involving aging parents and growing children. In 
addition, you're balancing a myriad of responsibilities at home with 
those that confront you at work. And that's without mentioning your 
ongoing commitment to staying healthy, losing weight and exercising 
regularly. Just thinking about your hectic lifestyle can stop you in 
your tracks. If you find yourself in this predicament and are feeling 
the time crunch, follow these guidelines:

1.	Take a deep breath and let go of negative thoughts about yourself 
in relation to getting stuff done. Actively dispute the notion that you 
are lazy, apathetic or can't get a handle on the process. Choose a simple 
affirmation or a mantra that rings true for you - such as yes I can - and 
repeat it often, out loud and with conviction. Give yourself an emotional 
break and watch what happens. 

2.	Make a start, any start. Buy a journal or borrow one of the notebooks 
your son isn't using and do your homework. Write out some specific goals 
and break them down into smaller, more manageable short term objectives. 
Reflect on their purpose and what that means to you. Consider the character 
strengths and personal resources you have that will help you achieve your goals.

3.	Create weekly or even daily to-do lists. For example, if a regular 
exercise program is your ultimate goal, begin by penciling in a 20 minute 
walk twice a week after carpool or during your lunch hour. Organization 
and planning may sound like dirty words. But the more you concretize what 
you plan to do, the greater the chances are that you'll follow through 
with your intentions.
 
4.	Lower your expectations - and, for sure, don't expect anything near 
perfection. Actually, there is no perfection, so relax. Start out small 
and accept baby steps. If Aunt Bess has moved into the nursing home across 
town, your only choices aren't either to go daily or not at all. Pile the 
kids in the car one Sunday a month and enjoy an hour in the park with her 
and your family.

5.	Give up the pleasure principle - that is, having exactly what you want 
when you want it. Next time you eat out, instead of finishing up with apple 
pie a la mode, visualize a thinner you in that little black dress at your 
upcoming 30th high school reunion. Delaying immediate gratification for 
future goals will lead to your feeling better about yourself and will nourish 
you way beyond your last bite of dessert.

6.	Make a public commitment to family members who want to see you succeed. 
By telling others about your intentions, you create a stronger reality that 
will keep you feeling motivated. Engage friends in your pursuit of getting 
into better shape - talk with one of the guys at work and make a pledge to 
hit the gym together three times a week.

7.	Notice and savor your newfound power. Positive reinforcement is a major 
tenet of any behavior modification program. So reward yourself for a job well 
done - choose an activity that nurtures you, like a massage or a trip to the spa. 
This sort of attitude will sustain you as well as promote greater self 
care - and as your goals take shape, you'll shape up.

Take it slow and easy. With so much on your plate, it's normal to feel 
overwhelmed and not know where to begin. If some days you make plans and 
can't follow through, don't let frustration sap your enthusiasm. Remember 
all those New Year's resolutions you made when you were younger and didn't 
know better? And think about the inertia that followed the failure of your 
short-lived goals. Don't fall victim to that kind of logic. Look well beyond 
the present moment - and resolve that you are making progress, that you are 
getting closer to your goals and that every day is a new opportunity.

© Her Mentor Center, 2008

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