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Nourishing Relationships

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     How to Turn a Crisis into a Challenge

When a crisis hits - the end of a marriage, the loss of a job, 
or the death of a loved one - it throws you into a complete tailspin.  
Suddenly your world is no longer safe and secure.  What can you do 
to pick up the pieces and take the first steps toward living a full life again?

Lisa was divorced when her son was still in grade school.  Soon after, 
she lost her job in the wake of massive lay offs.  Finding herself at a 
crossroads, she decided to take a chance and follow the passion that she 
had dreamed about for years - to write a book.  "Going forward, I feel 
empowered and alive.  After years of working in the support of others, 
I am now the artist.  It is a truly wondrous experience as I move into 
the next phase of my life." 

You too can respond to a dramatic change by tapping into more optimistic 
thoughts and seeing the situation as a challenge.  Create an opportunity 
to focus your energies and pursue your own dream.  Change the negatives 
to positives as you choose your path.  You may find that it is hard to get 
started and even more difficult to keep the forward momentum going.  
If you are finding yourself stalled and begin questioning your abilities 
to cope, implement these five important steps as you begin your journey. 

1. Look back over your life and review how you have dealt with other major 
changes.  What have you learned from your life experiences?  As philosopher 
George Santayana said, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned 
to repeat it."  Recall what worked and employ the most effective coping 
strategies once again.  Discard what didn't.

2. Assess your strengths and how you have used them in particular situations 
before.  Has your curiosity or love of learning encouraged you to gather 
information from the Internet, books or seminars in order to facilitate your 
decision making?  Whereas some strengths may come naturally to you, others 
may have to be developed through hard work.  Evaluate how you can build on 
your assets now.  

3. Consider what will help you let go of negative thoughts and preconceived 
notions of failure.  Are you holding on to unrealistic expectations, an 
unfounded criterion of perfection, an intolerance of anything less than total 
success?  Allow your ideas to run wild as you open yourself up to new attitudes.  
Use your power to turn your beliefs, step by step, into positive "what ifs." 

4. Brainstorm with a friend to clarify what kinds of resources you can pursue 
to help you through this process.  Support can come from many directions - personal 
relationships, coaches or therapists; or from financial assistance, outside 
validation and endorsement.  Use whatever support is available to aid and encourage you.  

5. Let your creativity flourish so that you see yourself from a new perspective.  
Here, the initial goal is to uncover the courage to begin the process.  Once you 
start, your experience will give you the incentive to continue.  Lisa found that 
"I need much less than I thought to live comfortably.  It's amazing how much more 
we spent before - and we had so little to show for it.  I'm now feeling full in a 
different way.  I know what I want and I will work to get it." 

When prospects seem bleak, these tips can stimulate you toward achieving your goals.  
Trust yourself and your own wisdom as you begin to integrate your changes and create 
a new and positive direction.  You will find the inspiration that you need to make 
this the best time of life.  

© 2007, Her Mentor Center

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(c) HerMentorCenter, 2007. All rights reserved.  The above
material may not be copied to another web site without the
express permission of HerMentorCenter.com.   
  
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