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Nourishing Relationships

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 Creating Special Family Vacations for the Sandwich Generation


"Summertime and the living is easy" - so said George and Ira Gershwin. 
There's just something about the warm sun, blue skies and late evenings 
that makes us want to ease up, have a change of scenery and leave our 
day-to-day work world behind.    

This summer, even with the high price of gas, Americans are taking to 
the roads, hopping planes, and boarding trains for family vacations.  
As a member of the Sandwich Generation, you may feel crushed by your 
responsibilities all year round and see this as your best chance to 
rejuvenate.  But how can you, when the demands on your time and energy 
are still there?  Here are five tips to help you plan and enjoy your 
summer vacation, wherever it may take you.

1.  You know yourself and your family best.  Do you like to create and 
maintain family rituals?  If so, you may want to return to the same 
vacation spot year after year, enjoying the familiar surroundings and 
activities.  Or, if you prefer to explore different places and learn 
new skills, you can consider all kinds of innovative vacations together.  
Does your family enjoy 'chilling out' and relaxing or staying busy and 
active?  What is most gratifying - the excitement of the city, the 
expansiveness of the beach, the majesty of the mountains or the serenity 
of your own backyard?  Taking your family's particular preferences into 
account will make your time together even more meaningful for everyone.

2.  Remind yourself to be realistic about your expectations for the vacation 
and be willing to make compromises.  Don't think that, all of a sudden, 
family togetherness will be a priority for everyone.  You may find that 
each of you will enjoy spending some time alone, doing want ever you want.  
Just as your family celebrations and holidays often come with their own set 
of challenges, vacations will not magically solve long-standing problems 
in your close relationships.  View your trip as one step in a series and 
accept that it will have difficult moments as well as good times. 

3.  Look at your individual situation and decide what will work for you.  
If you need some time by yourself, fit that into your plans right from the 
beginning.  If you want to reconnect with your teenagers, design outings 
that will appeal to both of you.  If your parents are up to it, plan an 
intergenerational vacation.  Your children will benefit from spending 
quality time with their grandparents and it will also give you the 
opportunity for some free time for yourself.

4.  With families spread across the nation, many find that a summer 
family reunion provides an opportunity to reconnect.  It's a different 
experience than seeing each other briefly at weddings, holidays or funerals.  
Getting everyone together in a vacation setting gives you the chance to catch
up without time distractions.  It takes advance planning but the rewards can 
be great for the whole family.  You may rediscover your cousin's keen sense 
of humor, appreciate your great aunt's wisdom or delight in your young nephew.  
Perhaps your brother has grown up and will pitch in to help you, now that he 
sees how hard it is to take care of your parents.  

5.  Going on vacation is like investing in your emotional bank account.  You 
generate vivid and positive memories that you can draw on when you need them.  
"Whenever I feel stressed out, I take a deep breath and remember how relaxed 
I was when we spent time at the beach," Beth related.  "The kids were free to 
run around in the sand, play in the water and make as much noise as they wanted 
without me having to shush them.   And my parents were so content, just sitting 
in the sun and being a part of the family fun.  It makes me smile just to 
visualize that scene in my head."

If you haven't already done so, now is the time to make plans for your own 
special family time - even if it's only a few days camping or some weekend 
activities at a local lake.  Enjoy the summertime as you create memories to 
carry you and your family through the rest of the year.

© 2007, Her Mentor Center

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(c) HerMentorCenter, 2007.  All rights reserved.  The above
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