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Nourishing Relationships

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     Create Meaningful Bonds with Your Grandchildren Across the Miles

Baby Boomers have jumped into the grandparent role in the same way that they
engaged in other phases of their lives - with enthusiasm and active commitment.  
They have redefined what it means to be grandparents.  But how can you form and 
maintain a connection with your young grandchildren when they live thousands of 
miles away and you see them only sporadically?

Allan talked about his six-year old grandson, Jake, and the joy he felt whenever 
they spoke on the phone.  "He called me the other day and said, 'Papa, I just 
saw the moon! It looked like a smile turned on its side.'  I could visualize the 
big smile on his face and that brought an even bigger one to mine.  When Jake was 
just three and we were visiting him, I had shown him the full moon early one winter 
night.  I had explained to him that, even though we lived very far away, we saw the 
same moon in our home that he saw in his.  We decided that the moon would be 
'our friend,' and ever since then we have shared this special connection."

If you are living far from your grandchildren, you too can bond in a profound way.  
Use the same sense of creativity that you have mastered in other areas of your life 
to build a relationship that grows through the years.  Here are 5 original tips from 
other grandparents - see what worked for them and let your imagination run free as 
you decide what works for you.

1. Susan had enjoyed music all her life and had a soft, gentle voice.  When her first 
grandchild was born, she picked a simple song and sung it sweetly to her whenever they 
were together.  When they were apart, she sang it over the phone.  Soon her little 
granddaughter began to recognize it as "Nana's song."  The song became a way for 
both of them to keep each other close through the distance.

2. Carol loved books.  She had worked in a bookstore and was familiar with all of the 
children's classics.  When her grandson was born, she picked one of her favorites and 
began to read it to him whenever she visited.  She held him close and repeated the 
passages in her lilting voice.  This special cuddle time became one of the most 
rewarding parts of her visits.  Every year, on her grandson's birthday, she gave 
him another classic children's book with her inscription telling him why she had 
especially chosen it for him.  Books grew to represent a deep bond between them.

3. Making movies had been Alex's hobby ever since he was a teenager.  He had taken 
pictures of his own children over the years but never really compiled them in any 
meaningful way.  It was different when his twin grandsons were born.  For their first 
birthday, he edited a video of the highlights of their growth that year, complete 
with music and clever titles.  Each year, he presented the boys with an edited version 
of their activities for the year.   As they grew, they looked forward to getting their 
new videos and loved to watch them over an over again.  Alex took great pleasure in 
making the videos, as he could watch his raw footage many times in order to pick the 
best shots and put them together.  Creating the birthday videos was a win-win for both 
Alex and his grandsons.

4. A chemist by trade, Mort knew how materials combined to produce new substances.  
He was intrigued by the way foods did the same thing, and he was an innovative cook.  
As soon as his young granddaughter was able to hold a spoon, he helped her put the fruit 
into her cereal.   When she was old enough, he began to cook with her whenever he came 
to visit.  He taught her to measure the ingredients when they made chocolate chip cookies 
and to mix the batter when they made blueberry muffins.  The kitchen became their special 
playground and they had the added bonus of eating their tasty handiwork.  As she grew, 
their creations became more complex and they both looked forward to sharing new recipes 
as they cooked together on his visits.  

5.  Some boomers developed innovative means of connecting with their grandchildren, 
using talents they didn't even know they had.  On a lark, Sara wrote a poem for her 
grandson on his first birthday.  It reviewed the things she had done with him - watching 
his first smiles, seeing him sit up and eat in his high chair, having him crawl to her, 
holding his hand as he learned to walk.  She found that she enjoyed the writing as it 
gave her an opportunity, during the process, to savor her pleasant memories.  
She began to write poems regularly, combining them on the page with pictures 
she had taken of them together.  Her grandson looked forward to her new "grandma poems" 
and loved re-reading the old ones every time she came for a visit.  
His parents read the poems to him when Sara was back in her own home, 
keeping their attachment strong.     

The legacy that you pass on to your grandchildren will be much more than 
money or possessions.  It will be the priceless gift of yourself.  
Let them know who you are.  You will enjoy the precious time you spend 
together and they will cherish the relationship with you for a lifetime. 
 
© 2007, Her Mentor Center 

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(c) HerMentorCenter, 2007.  All rights reserved.  The above
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