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                   STEPPING STONES (TM) 

                          Issue 17 

                         May, 2003 

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Welcome to "Stepping Stones" (TM), the newsletter of 
Her Mentor Center (TM) and especially to all of our new 
subscribers.  We are excited to be sharing experiences and 
information as we all journey through mid-life.  We invite 
you to add your thoughts and feelings.  Please go to 
, click on "About You," and respond to 
our brief questionnaire.  We appreciate your input and will 
share it with our readers. 


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This month at a glance: 

I.    Navigating through Menopause 

II.   Our Invitation to You 

III.  About Us 

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                  I. Navigating through Menopause 


Since we were cited in "More" magazine as a resource for 
women going through menopause, we received a wide variety 
of questions.  While some of the questions dealt specifically 
with a woman's individual situation, most addressed common 
and universal issues. 

We want to share with you some of the most pressing and frequently 
mentioned concerns.  We hope that some of suggestions we have given 
in response to these questions may also be useful to you. 
  
It is normal for women in this stage of life to have physical 
and emotional changes that are troublesome.   At the beginning of 
this process, women often wonder:   

Ø "Am I in menopause?"    

Ø "How do other women deal with these changes?" 

Ø "How do I find the help I need?" 

Ø " There are so many treatment options - how do I decide 
what to do?"   


Here are some of the specific symptoms that our readers have 
been experiencing: 

*   Hot flashes and night sweats 
*   Sleep problems 
*   Weight gain, particularly around the middle 
*   Sagging skin and wrinkles 
*   Facial hair 
*   Vaginal dryness 
*   Loss of libido or changes in sex drive 
*   Lack of concentration 
*   Difficulty focusing 
*   Memory loss 
*   Depression 
*   Anxiety 


No matter what your specific questions or symptoms are, we believe 
that the following suggestions will help you manage this process 
of life change: 

***        Work in partnership with your doctor.  Your physician is 
your best resource for information about your individual 
medical history and needs.  Communicate your concerns 
honestly to your M.D.  Consider the possibility of getting 
a second opinion and consulting with specialists. 

***      Continue to gather information.  There are websites, 
such as 'menopause.org', 'WebMd.com', 'hormones.org', 
that provide extensive explanations and material about 
treatment options.  There are other resources such as 
books, journals, and lectures.  It is important that 
the information is valid, the source is reliable, and 
that you do not become overwhelmed.                                           

***      Look for support.  Other women who are going through 
this process can be a comfort as you share thoughts 
and feelings.  You're not the only one experiencing this!   
Women can guide you by providing resources that have 
been helpful and techniques that have been effective.   
Be aware, of course, that we are all different and what 
has worked for others may not always be the best solution 
for you. 

***      This is a good time to explore changing your lifestyle 
and patterns of self-care.  Exercise becomes even more 
important now.  Even though it might be difficult to 
find the time, the results will be worth the effort.   
Good nutrition contributes to weight management, health 
and quality of life.  Relaxation techniques and deep 
breathing can reduce stress.  Enjoy what life has to 
offer - take a walk, spend time with friends, explore 
a new hobby, watch a movie, read a good book, laugh more.   
Finding what works for you will help you maintain a 
healthful lifestyle. 

***      This is also a good time to look at attitude adjustment. 
Try to maintain a positive attitude.  If you look at a 
situation from a different perspective, sometimes it 
doesn't seem so bad.  To begin the process of acceptance, 
recognize that these changes are part of the natural 
course of life.  Have patience.  Answers may not be easy 
to find and outcomes may not be perfect.  Trust yourself 
as you learn to live with the ambiguity of life. 


We would also like to suggest some practical techniques to help 
you deal with your specific symptoms. 


For hot flashes and night sweats: 

*   dress in layers 
*   sleep in a cool room 
*   avoid alcohol, spicy & trigger foods 

For sleep disturbances: 

*   try physical exercise earlier in the day 
*   create a bedtime routine 
*   save your bed for intimacy and sleep 

For weight gain: 

*   avoid buying sweets 
*   fill up on water 
*   find healthful food substitutes 
*   start an eating program that you can maintain 
*   begin to keep a food diary, noting what, when and 
   where you eat and what you were thinking and feeling 
   at the time 
*   determine your negative triggers and try to avoid them   

For inability to focus: 

*   simplify your environment 
*   make a list of things to do and prioritize them 
*   schedule extra time to go over new information   
*   concentrate on one thing at a time 
*   identify your stressors and work on techniques to 
   reduce them 
*   explore and learn new things 
*   play word games and do crossword puzzles to keep 
   your mind sharp 

For decreased sexual desire: 

*   talk to your doctor about remedies for vaginal dryness 
*   look at other life situations which may be affecting 
   your sexuality 
*   examine your relationship with your significant other   
*   focus on creating other kinds of intimacy in your 
   relationship 
*   develop or rekindle affection, closeness and romance 
*   explore and enjoy your sensuality 
*   be patient and take small steps 

For depression and anxiety: 

*   look for a support group in which to share your 
   thoughts and feelings 
*   keep a journal to express your feelings and gain 
   some insight 
*   utilize stress reduction techniques, such as deep 
   breathing, guided imagery, meditation 
*   make exercise a part of your daily routine 
*   focus on the positives in your life 
*   give of yourself - do something for someone else   
*   if your emotional symptoms don't abate, consult a 
   mental health professional 


Life is full of changes - menopause is just one of them. 

Look at other changes in you life.   Just as you have coped 
before, you will be able to cope now.  Recognize your 
strengths and build on them.  Focus on what has worked for 
you in the past and trust that you will find options that 
will help you now. 

Be patient and recognize that working through menopause 
is an ongoing process that takes time. 

This is a new chapter in your life.  You can write it the way 
you want!   


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                    II. Our Invitation to You 

Do you have your own transition story?  We invite you to 
share it with our readers for the benefit of women who 
themselves may be dealing with similar changes.  The skills you 
used may be Stepping Stones for others.  If you are interested, 
please e-mail us at HerMentorCenter@aol.com. 


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                         III. About Us 

HerMentorCenter.com provides information, support and 
direction for women undergoing mid-life transitions.  Having 
made these transitions ourselves, we are available to mentor 
you and to be your partners in mid-life. 

Her Mentor Center (TM) does not provide psychotherapy, 
consulting, or any other psychological or medical services 
or treatment.  If you feel the need for psychological help, 
you should contact your local mental health professional 
associations. 

To subscribe to "Stepping Stones" (TM), our free monthly 
newsletter, sign up at: 

http://www.HerMentorCenter.com/newsletter.html

To unsubscribe, go to 
http://www.HerMentorCenter.com/ 
newsletter.html and click "unsubscribe." 

To contact us, write to us at our e-mail address, 
Mentors@HerMentorCenter.com, 
or by telephone at (818) 773-7795 

Newsletters are available in our archives at: 

http://www.HerMentorCenter.com/archives.html

(c) HerMentorCenter, 2003    

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