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                   STEPPING STONES (TM) 

                          Issue 6 

                        August, 2001 

Welcome to "Stepping Stones" (TM), the newsletter of 
Her Mentor Center (TM).  Each month we highlight a 
mid-life women's personal transition story.  We identify the 
specific skills illustrated in her story that you might find 
valuable in your own life.  In addition, we recommend and 
review valuable resources for you.  We are excited to be 
sharing experiences and information as we all journey 
through mid-life. 

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This month at a glance: 

I.    Busy Retiring: Maxine's First Year 

II.   Stepping Stones: Playing with Retirement 

III.  Recommended Resources: Websites to Explore 

IV.   Our Invitation to You 

V.    About Us 

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    I. Busy Retiring: Maxine's First Year 

"How are you enjoying your retirement?"  "Are you bored yet?" 

Are they talking to me?  What's retirement?  How did I become 
old enough to retire? 

I decided, in June of 2000, that it was time to end my job 
as a school social worker.  I was 58 years old.  My husband 
wanted me to stop working so that I would have more energy 
and a flexible schedule.  Two of my daughters were having 
babies at opposite ends of the continent.  I wanted to be 
able to spend time with them after the births and to be with 
the grandchildren.  My third daugher also lived away and was 
embarking on a new career.  All in all I wanted to be more 
mobile and accessible to my family. 

Fortunately, working for basic income was not necessary for me. 
I loved my job but it took up such a large part of my time. 
I gradually became aware that I had options, as well as the 
luxury of deciding how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. 

It is now a little over a year. What has transpired?  I have 
the pleasure of two precious grandchildren.  I have spent a 
lot of time in airports.  I have stayed in my pajamas until 
after 10:00 a.m. on a weekday morning.  I have become more 
actively involved in both urban renewal and heritage aspects 
of my city.  I sit on a hospital board, thus learning more 
about the healthcare system.  I helped an old friend get 
elected to the Canadian federal government and have become 
involved again in local politics.  I have been to lunch with 
friends four times and knitted 1 1/2 baby sweaters. 

I still have not met my husband for lunch in the middle of 
the week, cleaned out my drawers, put photos in albums, 
exercised regularly, mastered the computer or the game of 
bridge, read enough books, or browsed the many corners of the 
city that I promised myself I would. 

So, where am I now?  Still very much in the process of 
learning what retirement means to me.  Was I ever lucky to 
be able to stop working.  So much to do, so little time!   

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     II. Stepping Stones: Playing with Retirement 

APPROACH THIS STAGE OF LIFE WITH HUMOR.   Maxine's rhetorical 
questions are examples of how not to take yourself too seriously. 
This is a major life change and a positive attitude will enhance 
your experience. 

BE AWARE OF YOUR MOTIVATION.   Reflection is important. 
Try to discover what is driving you at this point and make 
changes for reasons that are right for you. 

MUCH ADO ABOUT ALL OR NOTHING.   Perhaps leaving your job, 
at this time, is not an option for emotional or financial reasons. 
Look for ways to create balance by satisfying some of your unmet 
needs while still working.  This is also good preparation for 
when that change does occur. 

GO WITH THE FLOW.   What follows may sound contradictory: 
never say never, yet listen to your own vision; don't say no to 
anything, yet do what you want.  Open your heart to all 
possibilities. 

SEESAW MAGIC.   Finding balance can often be the key to 
unlocking the "good life," a very subjective notion.  Giving 
community service and giving yourself pleasure; having a 
purpose and having fun; being productive and being playful. 

MAKE A LIST AND DON'T CHECK IT TWICE.   We all have a myriad 
of wishes that have not come true because life sometimes has 
a way of interfering.  Now is your chance.  But don't beat 
yourself up when life, once again, intervenes. 


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       III. Recommended Resources:Books and Websites to Explore 

  "When I Am An Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple" 
by Sandra Hal Martz 

As the title suggests, this engaging book is sometimes 
whimsical, other times provocative.  It piques interest in 
the subject of women and aging through poetry, prose and 
poetry. 

www.NeatWomenInc.com 

www.SeniorWomen.com 

Both of these websites take an honest approach to women's 
issues.  Although different in style, they explore a wide 
variety of interests and options open to mid-life women. 
Both sites include articles relating to relationship and 
health concerns, career changes and leisure activities. 

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                 IV. Our Invitation to You 

Do you have your own transition story?  We invite you to 
share it with our readers for the benefit of women who 
themselves may be dealing with similar changes.  The skills you 
used may be Stepping Stones for others.  If you are interested, 
please e-mail us at . 


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                        V. About Us 

HerMentorCenter.com provides information, support and 
direction for women undergoing mid-life transitions.  Having 
made these transitions ourselves, we are available to mentor 
you and to be your partners in mid-life. 

Her Mentor Center (TM) does not provide psychotherapy, 
consulting, or any other psychological or medical services 
or treatment.  If you feel the need for psychological help, 
you should contact your local mental health professional 
associations. 

To subscribe to "Stepping Stones" (TM), our free monthly 
newsletter, sign up at: 

http://www.HerMentorCenter.com/newsletter.html

To unsubscribe, go to 
http://www.HerMentorCenter.com/ 
newsletter.html and click "unsubscribe." 

To contact us, write to us at our e-mail address, 
Mentors@HerMentorCenter.com, 
or by telephone at (818) 773-7795 

Newsletters are available in our archives at: 

http://www.HerMentorCenter.com/archives.html


(c) HerMentorCenter, 2001     


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