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        STEPPING STONES (TM)

                        Issue #28 

                        July, 2005

Welcome to "Stepping Stones" (TM), the newsletter of
Her Mentor Center (TM).  Here we highlight issues
important to mid-life women and identify information  
that you might find valuable in your own life.  We are 
excited to be sharing experiences and information 
as we all journey through mid-life.
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This month at a glance:

I.    One Woman's Story: Moving Beyond the Comfort Zone 

II.   Stepping Stones:  Questions to Ask Yourself 

III.  Recommended Resources

IV.   Our Invitation to You

V.    About Us

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     I. One Woman's Story: Moving Beyond the Comfort Zone 

Your website seemed to call to me as I have just recently 
announced to my Board of Directors and other colleagues that 
I will "retire" at the end of my contract in August 2005.  
I am, at the same time, excited and just a little apprehensive.  
I've looked forward to the day when my life would be free from 
the structure of a daily job, stress and deadlines.  Money is 
not the problem - I don't have a lot and have always lived on 
a fairly tight budget. But, I will get along.
 
My concerns are around continuing to live the "safe", 
reasonably comfortable life that I've grown accustomed to.  
I see and read about women who have moved beyond their 
safety/comfort zones into a second, or third life, doing things 
that they have always wanted to do and I think, that's what 
I want to do - but am not sure how.  

In a way, I believe that I have been in my second life (life 
beyond six children and a divorce) for close to 20 years - 
having earned a graduate degree and having a reasonably 
successful career in a non-profit organization.  But, I'm 
close to being burned out. I have continually given and given, 
though I haven't been entirely self sacrificing and I have 
worked in a very stressful position for the past 9 years.  
I'm also the oldest of ten and have been an overachiever 
and peacemaker for years.
 
When asked what I'll do after I retire, I immediately answer, 
"there will be no problem in keeping busy".  I am going to 
attend a Master Gardener Certification Program orientation 
next week - gardening has been my escape for the past three 
years since I bought my own home. I am learning Tai Chi; 
I am in my second year with years of learning ahead of me.  
I have a close gringa friend in Mexico who really wants me 
to come to live in Oaxaca and become involved in her 
business down there.  And I am in a relationship with a 
challenging man seven years my junior who is remodeling his 
home so that we can move into it when I retire.  I will be 
unable to live in my own home alone with my decreased income.  
Though I love my home and garden, I've moved about 35 times 
in the past 45 years and am not tied to a house.
 
So, why am I apprehensive?  I ask myself at times.... is 
this all there is at retirement? I know that it seems like 
a lot to some.  But there is something missing and I'm not 
sure what it is.  Perhaps I'm just burned out and don't 
have the energy to look beyond into a different level of 
being.  I'm not sure.  Having moved so many times over 
the years, I have not had a circle of woman friends since 
the early 70's.  Though my daughter is my friend, there 
are things I don't want to share with my daughter 
- although we do share a LOT.
 
I feel that I need, and want, some help with some direction.  
Life has gone so fast, I know that the next 10, 20 or 
whatever years, will go even faster.  I look back on my 
life now with few regrets.  I want to be able to move 
forward to my new life with a sense of excitement and 
challenge.  Can you help?
 
Glee

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      II. Stepping Stones: Questions to Ask Yourself

Glee's story is so rich with thoughts and ideas as she begins 
a most significant personal journey.  Are you experiencing a 
major life change?  If so, look at breaking your transition 
down into manageable parts, moving from global goals to more 
concrete objectives.  Talking with a friend or writing in a 
journal are ways to concretize some of your thoughts and 
feelings.

Retirement is an ongoing process and Glee's willingness to 
begin her exploration ahead of time is a wise decision.  
It is apparent from her story that she has already thought 
a lot about the practical steps toward her transition:

***   Where are you now in this process?
***   How can you prepare for the next step?

It is easy to understand that Glee is having some 
apprehension and feelings of loss:

***   What issues are causing concern for you now?
***   What helps you through times of loss?

There are many ways by which to move toward a "new life 
with a sense of excitement and challenge."  Begin by
asking yourself:

***   What gives your life meaning?
***   How can you tap into your passion?
***   How do you keep your attitude positive?

Give thought now to creating a plan that works for you 
and begin to implement it:

***   What are your options for this next chapter?
***   Where do you find a circle of support?
***   What do you need to do to begin implementing a plan?


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                  III. Recommended Resources

You will find it helpful to look at other newsletters 
archived on our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com.  Here 
you can read the stories of other women who have faced the 
challenges of transition.  The Stepping Stones that we 
highlight following each story can give you some ideas 
about moving forward with your own changes.        

We specifically recommend:

Issue #6, "Redefining Retirement," a playful look at the 
first year after one woman's retirement.

Issue #12, "Exploring a Full Life After 50," a healing 
journey after many life changes.

Issue #20, "Creating a New Nest in Mid-Life." The 
Stepping Stones help you focus on what is meaningful as 
you downsize.

Issue #25, "Self Discovery at 52," one woman's discovery 
of her soul satisfaction.
 
       
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      IV. Our Invitation to You

Do you have your own transition story?  We invite you to
share it with our readers for the benefit of women who
themselves may be dealing with similar changes.  The skills you
used may be Stepping Stones for others.  If you are interested,
please e-mail us at 
mentors@HerMentorCenter.com. .  

If you have not yet responded to our
"About You" questionniare
on the website, please tell us about yourself and we will 
include the data in our research. 

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          V. About Us

HerMentorCenter.com provides information, support and
direction for women undergoing mid-life transitions.  Having
made these transitions ourselves, we are available to mentor
you and to be your partners in mid-life.

Her Mentor Center (TM) does not provide psychotherapy,
consulting, or any other psychological or medical services
or treatment.  If you feel the need for psychological help,
you should contact your local mental health professional
associations.

To subscribe to "Stepping Stones" (TM), our free monthly
newsletter, sign up at:

http://www.HerMentorCenter.com/newsletter.html

To unsubscribe, go to 
http://www.HerMentorCenter.com/ 
newsletter.html and click "unsubscribe." 

To contact us, write to us at our e-mail address, 
mentors@HerMentorCenter.com, 
or by telephone at (818) 773-7795 

Newsletters are available in our archives at: 

http://www.HerMentorCenter.com/archives.html


(c) HerMentorCenter, 2005.  All rights reserved.  The above
material may not be copied to another web site without the
express permission of HerMentorCenter.com.   
  

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