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                   STEPPING STONES (TM) 

                          Issue 8 

                        December, 2001 

Welcome to "Stepping Stones" (TM), the newsletter of 
Her Mentor Center (TM).  Each month we highlight a 
mid-life woman's personal transition story.  We identify the 
specific skills illustrated in her story that you might find 
valuable in your own life.  In addition, we recommend and 
review valuable resources for you.  We are excited to be 
sharing experiences and information as we all journey 
through mid-life. 

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This month at a glance: 

I.    Creating a New Outlook on Life: Karen's Story 

II.   Stepping Stones: Less is More 

III.  Recommended Resources to Explore 

IV.   Our Invitation to You 

V.    About Us 

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    I. Creating a New Outlook on Life: Karen's Story 

     
    I am a divorced woman, 58, with a private practice in 
clinical psychology.  I had anticipated that my income would 
increase some each year.  With my child grown and educated, 
I would focus on contributing to my retirement, retire at 
60-65, sell my house and move to a condo. 

    I envisioned hiking, exploring wilderness areas, becoming 
more knowledgeable about the environment, animals, birds and 
wildflowers.  I would spend lots of time with my friends and 
grandchild. 

    At 50, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia - a condition 
characterized by chronic muscle and tendon pain and chronic 
fatigue.  Almost every area of my life was affected in some 
way - self-image, professional image, finances, family and 
social relationships. 

    Three things were needed to help me reconstruct my life: 
time, excellent professionals, and a new philosophy that 
"less is more." 

    It took several years to accept my new limitations, to 
mourn the old dream and to find a new one.  Now, I pace myself 
and prioritize differently.  I plan carefully to preserve my 
energy so there is time for work, rest, friends and family. 
There is less of each than I would have wanted but the balance 
makes it satisfying.  A psychotherapist was invaluable in 
this process. 

    I found the best physicians I could who would listen 
carefully and were experienced with my disorder.  They helped 
me find the right medications in the right dosages to ease 
many of my symptoms. 

    With less income in the present and less capacity to 
contribute to my retirement, I had to develop a new financial 
plan.  My accountant and Morningstar On-Line have aided me. 
I actually like the challenge of making do with less.  I have 
become knowledgeable and capable of doing my own investing. 

    I can't hike far but luckily walking is one of the best 
things I can do to ease pain and maintain muscle conditioning. 

    My practice is even more satisfying with fewer clients 
and a more leisurely approach to the work.  And, I have turned 
to my garden as a way to be out of doors.  A great nurseryman 
and gardening websites are my companions in creating an 
environment that is a wilderness of its own. 

    Truly, less can be more. 


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     II. Stepping Stones: Less is More 

    Karen has chosen to create a positive outlook on life in 
response to her negative health situation.  Through a series of 
steps she has developed a philosophy of "less is more" that 
enables her to truly enjoy her life.  She has adapted her 
interests and activities to accommodate her changed situation. 
She still does what is important to her - just differently. 

Karen's journey included the following steps as she: 

(1) Accepted the need for adaptation and ongoing change 

(2) Recognized her feelings regarding: 

Living with chronic illness 

Her expectations for the future 

(3) Implemented her strategy to reconstruct her life: 

Evaluated her situation 

Prioritized her needs and interests 

Utilized support and resources 

Accepted her limitations and built on her strengths 

Embraced the challenge of change 

Focused on the positives of her situation 

Through this process, Karen continues to find true satisfaction 
and fulfillment: Less really is more! 


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       III. Recommended Resources to Explore 

"The Simple Living Guide: A Sourcebook for Less Stressful, 
More Joyful Living" by Janet Luhrs. 

Janet Luhrs, founder and editor of "The Simple Living Journal," 
has written a complete and balanced guide to living simply 
and consciously.  It contains strategies and resources in many 
aspects of life, including: time and money management, health, 
exercise and gardening.  Luhrs provides real-life stories of 
people overcoming obstacles and creating fulfilling lives. 

"Your Money or Your Life: Transforming Your Relationship with 
Money and Achieving Financial Independence" by Joe Dominguez 
and Vicki Robin. 

This unique book has provided valuable information for many 
in the voluntary simplicity movement.  It offers a 9-step 
program in money management and a comprehensive resource list 
to help put the program into practice. 

www.nih.org 

The National Institutes of Health provides information about 
recent research on fibromyalgia.  When you log onto the NIH 
site, you can search "fibromyalgia" for articles about 
symptoms, diagnoses and treatment options. 

The Arthritis Foundation 

The Arthritis Foundation provides a variety of services for 
people dealing with fibromyalgia, including classes, pamphlets 
and a book entitled "Your Personal Guide to Living Well with 
Fibromyalgia."  You may obtain information by calling their 
toll-free number, 800-933-0032. 

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                 IV. Our Invitation to You 

Do you have your own transition story?  We invite you to 
share it with our readers for the benefit of women who 
themselves may be dealing with similar changes.  The skills you 
used may be Stepping Stones for others.  If you are interested, 
please e-mail us at . 

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  V. About Us 

HerMentorCenter.com provides information, support and 
direction for women undergoing mid-life transitions.  Having 
made these transitions ourselves, we are available to mentor 
you and to be your partners in mid-life. 

Her Mentor Center (TM) does not provide psychotherapy, 
consulting, or any other psychological or medical services 
or treatment.  If you feel the need for psychological help, 
you should contact your local mental health professional 
associations. 

To subscribe to "Stepping Stones" (TM), our free monthly 
newsletter, sign up at: 

http://www.HerMentorCenter.com/newsletter.html

To unsubscribe, go to 
http://www.HerMentorCenter.com/ 
newsletter.html and click "unsubscribe." 

To contact us, write to us at our e-mail address, 
Mentors@HerMentorCenter.com, 
or by telephone at (818) 773-7795 

Newsletters are available in our archives at: 

http://www.HerMentorCenter.com/archives.html


(c) HerMentorCenter, 2001     
                       
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